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I’m 22 years old. My ex and I were married for about 3 years and then we had our problems and was physically abusing each other. We separated after I cheated on him ( I only did that because I did know how to end the relationship.. do I feel bad? yes I feel horrible for ending things that way)… I was hurting myself, blaming myself for our problems. One of the main reasons why we were fighting a lot was because he did not get along with my mother. He would always bad-mouth her and talk back. There were times when they would get along.. my mom did not like him because she said he’s a vengeful person and disrespectful and would always hit me….(even though I was physically abusive too.. she thinks that he doesn’t have the right to abuse me back). Anyways we’re seeing each other again after being separated for 6 months. We secretly took a vacation together and my mom knows nothing about this. I live at home with my mom and she pays for my education and stuff if I move out I would have to pay for things myself. I came home late last night and my mom asked who I was with last night and I didn’t give her any answer and she asked if I was with my ex I didn’t deny anything. She just told me that if I were to get back with him my life would be a mess and nothing good will come out of it because he is bad luck and that I should stop seeing him. I told her that it’s my life and I just want to do things that will make me happy. I don’t know how to solve this issue or how to confront my mom so she will be accepting of him because I love him so much. Any advice?
I forgot to add… that we both changed. I see how he changed and matured and realized that he’s not gonna be disrespectful anymore and he wants to go see a counselor to work on our relationship. I agreed to it because I do want this to work out. He said we can’t change ourselves we need help. As for myself, I ended all contacts with the other guy and I feel like I should stop partying and be more responsible for things.

Listen to your mother. Nothing good will come out of this. You had a 3 year train wreck of a marriage, you yourself are an admitted cheater and abuser, and there is nothing in your post to suggest that you have made any changes at all. You have just waited long enough for the bruises to fade and for things to fizzle with the guy you cheated with. You are not ready to be in any sort of relationship at all.

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